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Saints, thank you for sharing your experiences. We all go through different seasons of life at different times. What has resulted in a victory for you today may have very well seemed like a defeat for someone else yesterday. That is why we must be sensitive in what we say yet confident of its impact. Remember there is power and effect in words. You may very well be saving a life!

 

They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony. (Revelation 12:11)

 

MICHELLE

MICHELLE URBINA

Date Posted: 2012-06-11

Believer: Yes

Location: Palmdale, CA

Praise Jesus! He is alive! He is present! He will never turn His back on His sheep, even when we are lost and gone astray from His holiness. I've been addicted to Meth for 20 years, lost custody of 3 of my children and tried quitting on my own way too many times. Two years ago, I noticed I was beginning to behave strangely when I would get on one. I started to think of God when I was high, it became my obsession and I would stay up for nights just reading the Holy Bible for hours at a time and online research everything I could about Jesus and Recovery. I would have this overbearing desire to attend church while I was using. I would upset my boyfriend when doing this, he felt I was dishonoring God or being a hypocrite. It wasn't that I purposely or personally wanted to do these things, it was something in me moving me to do this. Soon after I found a church and started healing and growing and understanding more clearly. I started moving slowly away from the drug and one day I received the Holy Ghost and was speaking in tongues! For the next 2 years God was moving in my life and working in me like never before. I noticed the blessings and healing in my life. I would pray and he would answer! I was still backsliding and occasionally using but I never gave up on God. I would pray for recovery constantly and breakdown in tears right after I would take that first hit. Telling God out loud how sorry I was and how helpless I felt over this drug. I would beg Him to please free me from this hell I was living and break the bondage Satan had over me. One night after hooking up and being up for several days, I was tired, sick, and in despair. I sat outside in the dark of night with a pipe in one hand and a bag of dope in the other. I looked up into the dark sky and thought this lifestyle is slowly destroying my soul. I had no doubt in my mind that I was about to experience a final blow that might very well be my death if I didn't stop using. I remember telling God out loud "What's matter with me? Am I just too good at being bad that I can't be saved? Why am I still using? Why haven't you helped me? I know you hear my cries and see my tears. God I can't do this!!! I give up!! I have no more to left in me!! LORD YOU NEED TO COME GET ME NOW FROM THIS PIT OF HELL CUZ I CAN'T FIND A WAY OUT!!! ALL I SEE IS DEATH AND DARKNESS AROUND ME AND I FEEL THE ENEMY'S PRESENCE!! PLEASE SAVE ME!! YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER FORSAKE ME..YOU SAID "If I abide in You, and your words abide in me, ask whatever i wish, and it will be done for ME". I BELIEVE IN YOUR PROMISE. After this spiritual experience I lost all cravings, God broke the chains and I stopped using for 2 months before I became baptized in Jesus Name!! For the next 6 months it was like I never knew anything about Meth, it felt like I never used it. No cravings!! Not even a memory of the drug!! It was a miracle from God and I experienced His Joy and Peace for the first time in my 36 yrs of life. It felt amazing!! It was His blood on Calvary that set me free!! I realize this battle over my addiction wasn't really mine. It was God's and He already won the Victory for me when he died on the cross for my disgusting sins!! His power and deliverance was always there for me to claim, I just need to accept Him and He would do the rest for me!! God is so Good!! His grace and mercy are gifts to his children. After 8 months of sobriety I backslid and used. It wasn't because I was overcome by temptation or had cravings, no it was my own rebellious spirit that led me to dishonor God and fall into my sin. It was because I wanted to, period. So I did. But I was fearful and anticipated some kind of punishment for disobeying His word. Oddly enough, it never happened. Instead God continued to bless me in my life. It was his Grace that brought me to repent and love Him more and brought me closer to Him. God used my sin to enlighten me. He taught me about self-righteousness and how it was a sin. I had been acting in a self-righteous manner for a few months and never realized it. I figured since I had no craving for the drug, I stopped asking God to give me His strength everyday, I then relied on my good works and Not on God's power and works. Hey, I was staying clean so I never questioned it. I assumed God was keeping me clean but how could He have when I stopped praying to Him or asking Him for his will to be done. Eventually, my power ceased and I fell back into living in my flesh and using. Since my backslid, I have 3 months clean!!! Starting over and giving thanks to God for taking my sin and making good from it. I feel His presence everyday as He guides me through the Holy Spirit living within me. He has changed who I used to be and He's not finished with me just yet. He will continue to reveal to me exactly everything I need to know to live a godliness life, one that is God-fearing, obedient, and according to His will. It wasn't by chance you are reading this, it is the work of God and He is calling you right He has a divine purpose for your life. If you have not accepted Jesus into your life, accept Him in your heart and ask Him to forgive you for all your sins until this moment. Accept Jesus as your Savior, right now!! God bless the person reading this and grant them salvation!

 

 

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